Church signs

Posted: June 24, 2008 in Church

Ah, the church marquee.  Not content being mere places to post church hours and events, they have truly become the Christian parallel to fortune cookies.  Unfortunately – in spite of the best efforts by the pastors who pen some sort of attention grabbing phrase, these signs are laughable, more often than not.  Maybe they are effective with certain target audiences, but I cannot help but feel that most people are prone to laughing at the signs more than they are drawn to the particular church posting the monthly pithy saying of something profoundly cheesy wise.

Here are some of the sayings I’ve seen on church marquees over the years:

  • “Wal-mart is not the only saving place.”
  • “Jesus, the Bread of LIfe – Fresh for life.”
  • “Free knee-mail inside.”
  • “Redemption inside.  No coupon required.”
  • “7 days away from God makes one weak.” (saw this one today)
  • “Prayer is the key to the morning and the bolt of the night.” (huh??)
  • “Big time birthday:  Dec. 25!”
  • “If God is your Father, then the church is your mother.”

Okay, that’s just a sampling of the ones I can remember at this time.  And I’m not suggesting that there’s not some sort of truth behind some of these sayings (even if cleverly hidden from the public).  But…wow…I can’t help but wonder if this black-words-on-white-background wisdom really appeals to anyone except those already in church.

Any of you seen any memorable church signs lately?

  1. Anne says:

    Here are a few for you:

    “Don’t be so open minded your brains will fall out.”
    “Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

    And my all time favorite:
    “Staying in bed shouting, “Oh God” does not constitute going to church.”


  2. Jason says:

    ch rch…..the only thing missing is “u”. Eternity, smoking or nonsmoking….your choice. These are just a few that come to mind.

  3. Jason says:

    I remember that one, I almost wrecked, laughing at it. I can’t remember the church it was on…..

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